On Saturday, Sara and I were given the opportunity to go to a traditional anniversary event called Amatebeto. This event is done once throughout a couple’s marriage and it is put on by the bride’s family. The gathering is a simple way for the bride’s family to say thank you for honoring and marrying our daughter and we would like to introduce new things into your marriage. This event is an all day thing. You start early in the morning, if not the night before, cooking a ton of new meals that are going to be introduced to the husband. All the women gather at one house and spend the day cooking, singing, dancing, and teaching the bride things such as: ways to please her husband, ways to manage the family as everyone grows, and ways to continue managing the house in a balanced manner.
We joined this event around one in the afternoon on Saturday thinking we were going to be late for the “big drop”. When we first arrived everyone began yelling “ABUSUNGU” which means White people. They all greeted us and quickly threw us in the middle to begin dancing. People here love to see white people dance… it is odd! Ha. After dancing we were brought over to the outdoor coals where they were making tons and tons and tons and TONS of nshima. Nishma is the food I was telling you about; it is the white mix of mashed potatoes and sticky rice that we eat with every meal. While the women in the family cook, drum, dance, and sing, the wife must stay in the house somewhat hidden. The bride or wife was a lady we work with at Hope and so we were able to go into the bedroom where she was hiding. We sat in there for awhile as she told us about the outline for the day and how the tradition unfolds.
Once everything was ready, we loaded the food (which we will post the pictures next week), all the women (35+), and the drums. We all rode in the back of the truck over to the house where the husband was. I was fortunate enough to sit next to the lady who was in charge of hiding the chicken. She was carrying a live chicken on her back and while we were in the truck it decided to poke its head out and “lick” my arm. I can say that that was the first freak out moment I have had since being here! From there, Sara and I got to be a part of the transferring food and Sara even got to carry it on her head like a true Zambian! I on the other hand, I carried the beer!!!! :o) So once we got to the husbands house, we unloaded the truck, sang, and danced WHILE walking backwards into the house. The house was full of the husband’s relatives including the “best man” who sat with him throughout the night. For the next 3 hours we all sat around while two women presented all the new types of food. The two women danced, unwrapped food containers using only their mouths, hid underneath chitenge’s (pieces of cloth) and then the husband had to find them and help them up. They wrapped up this part of the gathering by inviting/forcing Sara and I to go up and dance in front of EVERYONE!!!! For a split second, I think I blacked out because I don’t remember anything other than seeing hundreds and hundreds of camera’s pointing at us! We did get paid though, don’t worry, that’s how they do here.
Finally we said goodbye to the husband’s relatives and loaded the truck again. We sang and drummed our way back to where we came from and left everyone else to eat. Once we got back to the house we started at, the wife was able to come out of hiding and then we all ate together. Sara and I headed home to make an American meal for our home stay family but everyone else stayed to party all night. They spent most of the night drinking this traditional brown brew as well as shake shake (an alcoholic milkshake). Unfortunately we found out the next day that a man who was sitting behind Sara and I at the husband’s house had passed away. They are not sure what had happened because he spent the night celebrating and dancing but did not wake the next morning. Lesson taught: stay away from brown brew and alcoholic milkshakes! ;o)
SLE and Sara!
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